Afirmación, por favor

The thing about that article I linked to the other day is that I totally can relate to wanting the world to give a shit about me. I want attention and affirmation so badly that I do such things as talk frankly about my own asshole on public stages and with a microphone. It's a sickness.

And it's dangerous. Imagine if I didn't have such quality outlets as comedy and the radio and the careful blogging to get my need for affirmation filled. It scares me to think of what I could be doing instead.

Also, I think I used to feel like if I said something out loud and in public that it couldn't hurt me, that I was invincible to the pain associated with whatever I was saying. This, of course, is bunk.

(Aside: If you work in Corporate America and you want to say something is bullshit, you should say it's bunk instead. That's what I do and it has been working like a charm.)

One thing that scares me is that a young friend of mine needs constant affirmation like I do, but about 6.02 x 10²³ times worse. She doesn't get the attention she needs (no single human has that much time), so she manufactures attention by any means necessary (shouting, crying, acting a fool), which annoys the people around her to no end (young and old alike), which perpetuates the cycle of people not paying enough attention to her.

I admit that I don't pay quite enough attention, mostly due to sheer annoyance. It is so hard to do right by young people, even when you're trying!

It's so hard to be a human.

Radio 104 revisited

I was driving to a show tonight and I saw a sign for a radio station just by Exit 33 in Hartford. It said, "104one music".

Now, back in the day, I listened to Radio 104 (104.1 on your FM dial), which was where all the grunge-type, alternative-y, punk-y sort of music was played back when I was in college. I loved Radio 104, particularly the Jake and Beth Morning Show, which is one of the reasons I wanted to do morning radio, and ultimately did (for a very short time until I got tired of being broke).

It was a great station, but one day they changed formats. Then they changed formats again. Then they changed formats again.

So when I saw this billboard for "104one music", I thought, "I wonder what their new format is?" So I turned it on.

Basically, it's Radio 104, with all of the songs from when I was in college. Man, what an excellent blast from the past.

I heard a Hole song. Also, Green Day. Also, Counting Crows.

I almost had to barf when Dave Matthews came on, but you take the good with the bad when you're taking a walk through a time warp.

One song came on while I was driving home from the show. I told myself that I would remember which song it was because I wanted to tell this story, but I can't remember now. Wait! I just found it on their Web site: Foo Fighters, I'll Stick Around. Anyway, during the "I don't owe you anything!" shouting part, I was magically taken back to the night I got a flat tire on Flat Brook Road in West Hartford on my way home from St. Joe's, which is where Sunnie went. I was still at HCC at the time, so let's say I was 20. I was driving the Buick Skylark, which belonged to my parents and was knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door. I hadn't even been driving a year and it was my first flat tire. I didn't know what to do, so I drove back to St. Joe's and called to Sunnie in her dorm through the window and we got a campus security guy to change my tire.

Oh crazy, carefree days of youth!