Afirmación, por favor

The thing about that article I linked to the other day is that I totally can relate to wanting the world to give a shit about me. I want attention and affirmation so badly that I do such things as talk frankly about my own asshole on public stages and with a microphone. It's a sickness.

And it's dangerous. Imagine if I didn't have such quality outlets as comedy and the radio and the careful blogging to get my need for affirmation filled. It scares me to think of what I could be doing instead.

Also, I think I used to feel like if I said something out loud and in public that it couldn't hurt me, that I was invincible to the pain associated with whatever I was saying. This, of course, is bunk.

(Aside: If you work in Corporate America and you want to say something is bullshit, you should say it's bunk instead. That's what I do and it has been working like a charm.)

One thing that scares me is that a young friend of mine needs constant affirmation like I do, but about 6.02 x 10²³ times worse. She doesn't get the attention she needs (no single human has that much time), so she manufactures attention by any means necessary (shouting, crying, acting a fool), which annoys the people around her to no end (young and old alike), which perpetuates the cycle of people not paying enough attention to her.

I admit that I don't pay quite enough attention, mostly due to sheer annoyance. It is so hard to do right by young people, even when you're trying!

It's so hard to be a human.

Over-sharing

Here's an interesting article from the NYTimes Magazine about a lady who over-shared on the Internet. It's fairly long, but worth the read. The end of the story is a little anti-climactic, but I think it only seems that way because the rest of the story is so...oh, I don't know. Something.

I used to do a lot of over-sharing on the Internet. Now I just share, I think. I try to keep what I say to my own business and I try not to include anything that is other people's businesses. Of course, it's hard to tell a compelling story without mentioning other people. But you know.

I did some serious over-sharing on a stage last weekend wherein I discussed my asshole, Scott's asshole and the economy, and, well, it was really quite something. I've got a lot of great new material that I think you're sure to love. That is, if you love my asshole.

Actually, people gasped in horror and stifled laughter, perhaps to avoid looking like they were laughing at my asshole. Of course, from my vantage point on the stage, it just seemed like stunned silence. In fact, if people didn't come up to me later and tell me how much they enjoyed the show and how funny they thought I was, I wouldn't even know.

Of course, I got plenty of out-loud laughter for things that weren't quite so controversial. Like the economy. I have to say, this economy joke, which I will not tell you here, is about the best joke I've written (with Scott's help) in some time. It kills me that I will only be able to use it for a little while.

Oh, the humanity!

Anyway, I'm opening for the Gay Men's Chorus on June 7 at PACE, though I think I'll keep the subject matter a little tamer for that crowd. Also, I'll update my shows list so you can actually come to one, maybe.

It's time for everyone's favorite show!

Girls! Girls! Girls! is Saturday night and you're invited!

You know who else is invited? The ladies who are performing: Ann and me, Andrea Henry, Ellen Moschetto and Maria Ciampa. How about that?

The show is at 8 p.m. at PACE.

If you've seen me perform comedy before, I've got lots of new material, including a bit about my asshole, so maybe it's time to see me again for the first time.

Ellen and Maria are first-time Girls! Girls! Girls! performers. Andrea, who has been featured on actual and factual television, hasn't been on the Girls! Girls! Girls! stage in more than a year.

Fresh, steaming-hot comedy is yours for the taking Saturday night.

Jennifer Myszkowski bombs on Cambridge stage

Because I'm worried that this blog will soon turn into the Jennifer-Myszkowski-is-having-a-nervous-breakdown-about-the-house Blog, let's turn our attention to comedy.

I bombed tonight at the Studio. Everyone did, though in the audience's defense, some of them actually sucked. One fellow actually made some people leave. Scott and I laughed pretty hard when the show was over about how bad it was. I actually thought, "What the hell am I doing here?"

I can bomb at a crap club around here, no problem. I don't need to drive two hours for the pleasure of bombing on a famous stage. I was a little disappointed, I can't lie.

The good news is that I tried some new material about buying a house and it mostly worked for the people who were paying attention. I got a DVD of my set so I will be able to look at it and pick apart what I did wrong and do it better next time.

Having a crappy time at the Studio is such a foreign idea. It took me completely by surprise.

Lend me a hand

I was talking with my comedy pal Dan the Librarian about the Valley of Laughter Comedy Festival. One thing about me that you may not know is that I don't like competitions, so I don't want to be in the festival. We were talking about this, and I asked him if they're doing any showcases that aren't part of the competition that maybe I could horn in on.

Turns out they were thinking of a women's show, blahblahblah, Dan asked me if I was interested in running it, blahblahblah, I put in a call to PACE, but they're booked for the night it needs to be.

So, I'm wondering if you live around here and you know a venue that can fit about 100 people (or more) that has chairs, a little stage and a microphone and is available on Saturday, April 26.

If you know such a place, would you forward me the information about who to call and all that. And if you actually know the person, would you place an introductory call on my behalf so I'm not calling cold?

I would ideally like to make a split-the-door arrangement, so that I can at least give comics who drive in from Boston gas money and stuff. Also, this show would be promoted along with the rest of the festival.

Tell me what you know:
jennifer at jennifer myszkowski dot com

Mark your calendar: Girls! Girls! Girls!

Oh, hello. Nice to see you.

The next Girls! Girls! Girls! is on Feb. 23 at PACE and features Bethany Van Delft, Arielle Goldman, Erin Judge, Kim “Boney” Deshields, and, of course, Ann and me. Show starts at 8 p.m.; tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door.

Also, I've already booked another Girls! Girls! Girls! for May 17, which will feature Andrea Henry, Chrissy Kelleher, Maria Ciampa, Ellen Moschetto, and, of course, Ann and me.

I was talking with debl a few months back. She didn't realize that I have lots of shows all over the place because I only ever talk about Girls!³. And it's true, I do talk a lot about Girls!³ around here. What it all comes down to, for those of you who like to be in the know, is that I produce these myself. I alone am responsible for promoting the hell out of them so that people come. Promotion of all the other shows is someone else's responsibility. I let you know about them over on the right-hand side of the page (a change that I made as a direct result of my conversation with debl) and I hope you come to them all, but if you're going to come to any, Girls! Girls! Girls! shows are the ones I hope you pick.

Fantastic. Mark all this down in your book.

New material

Ann and I did sets at the Comedy Studio tonight. I did a bunch of new material that made me laugh so hard on the stage that I actually started crying from laughter.

What's that new material all about?

Thanks for asking. I would tell you, but then you wouldn't be interested in coming to an awesome show at PACE on Friday night, 8 p.m.

Yes, Girls! Girls! Girls! is upon us. It's me, Ann, Deb Farrar-Parkman, Mandy Donovan and Maryellen Rinaldi. Don't you want to come and get the full Girls! Girls! Girls! experience?

Seriously, I pretty much tore up the room tonight, as much as a room can be torn up on a Wednesday night. Whatever. Just come to the show.

Also, Thursday morning, I'll be on WHMP with Bill Dwight talking about this show and Saturday's Hot Chocolate Run from 9:30 to 10 a.m. Listen for hilarity.

Can I just say that I love Bill Dwight? I'm not just saying that because he's having me on his show. I actually love him. So does, like, half of everybody. But still.

Thank you. That is all.